// why not run away…//

why not, run away?

as for most of you I’m sure, the hardest part about being a dreamer is not the dream or finding new things to dream about…it’s the process of the in-between. 

dreams of the heart carry strong and carry far. in fact so far that in their traveling they reach the callous parts within us all. parts we try so often to forget remain within us. 

today’s cloudy weather in Nashville made me recognize again the process my heart is in at the place in my life. a place where real forgiveness to hard to offer to those who have left me hurt. a place that has roughed up it’s edges and often seems more jaded than before. 

the overwhelming truth; however, still remains. as hard as the bad parts fight, the good will win. 

I sat down with a couple of friends of mine, who have become nothing less than family to me in the past year, and began to let my heart flow from my mouth like a raging river bursting through a dam. 

midway through though I realized that my “whoa-is-me” monologue was not being received with startled eyes or worried hearts, but rather with ironic smiles and smirks revealing their familiarity. 

C’est la vie

Their smiles and smirks weren’t signs of boredom, or a lack of compassion. They were the friendly reminder that life is life. And life is what we make it. Things are hard at times, but still things are amazing at others. 

I was reminded that we go through what we do to gain strength, not apathy. In betrayal we find trust in that which is true. And in our moments of weakness we find ourselves needing the help of someone much bigger.

I’ve never seen it written any more beautiful than in Brennan Manning’s good The Furious Longing of God. Near the end of the book he leaves the reader with a message that I realized I had saved on my notes on my phone back on August 26th of 2009.

When the night is bad and my nerves are shattered and the waves break over the sides, Infinity speaks. God Almighty shares through His Son the depth of His feelings for me, His love flashes into my soul, and I am overtaken by mystery. These are moments of “kairos” the decisive inbreak of God’s fury into my personal life’s story.

It is then I face a momentous decision. Shivering in the rags of my seventy-four years, I have two choices. I can escape below into skepticism and intellectualism, hanging on for dear life. Or, with radical amazement, I can stay on deck and boldly stand in surrendered faith to the truth of my belovedness, caught up in the reckless raging fury that they call the love of God. And learn to pray.

My prayer for everyone and anyone who reads this is the same prayer I now pray for me…

May my dreams set sail with sails strong enough to battle the storms. May the rudder always be directed by the founder and keeper of my faith. May I be relentless at all costs to remain on deck. And may I never be too proud to fall to my knees in times of trouble as well as times of strength. 

with love and hope for and with you all,

-Nathan

// Fighting Resistance…//

While living in New Orleans a good friend of mine recommended a book to me called: The War of Art by Steven Pressfield. He mentioned to me that it was a book that all artists in any field should read, and spoke of it as nothing less than extraordinary. It wasn’t until I left New Orleans and came across The War of Art in a Dallas, TX  Barnes and Nobel I began to soak up it’s wisdom. 

Pressfield repeatedly speaks of one thing over and over throughout the book, and yet somehow it is something I still need to hear repeatedly each and every day. 

RESISTANCE!

My eyes have been opened to see that resistance is an ugly creature that is after us all. Resistance seeks only to keep us off of our feet, and unfortunately it usual does a damn good job. 

This ill mannered, and corrupt creature does not sleep, does not back down when you’re weak and lives within you and everyone around you. 

Whether it’s depression, fatigue, stress, laziness or a friend distracting you, it’s only purpose is to see your dreams never become reality. 

Bold words, right? 

Is it scary?

I would hope so. 

If you read my last blog I spoke of a man I named “Mr. Ponytail” who appeared to live his life continually beat down by resistance, and had become so comfortable with it that he rejected the advice and wisdom from someone who seemed to have had take his resistance out back to rough it up. 

I’m writing this tonight to say one thing. 

Don’t let your dreams slip away. Don’t let the thing or things that keep you up at night become a weight that seems too impossible to carry. 

Dreams should be so wonderful they appear to most to be only things of fiction or impossibility. So, let the impossible motivate you to try harder, and let the fiction give you wings to fly!

In the words of Young the Giant “My body tells me NO, but I won’t quit cause I want more!” …sure maybe that’s a little out of context, but it’s music so I’ll take it like I want to…

So, let us all be brave. Let us be courageous. And let us be a people turned their everyday reality into fiction and blurred the lines of possibility. 

// Establishing a “Never Give Up” Mentality…//

A couple of nights ago I decided to get out and just go for a walk around music row here in Nashville. As I was walking my mind could only think one thing…I was walking down the same streets that musical legends had once walked. The same sidewalks, the same twists and turns…the same dream. 

After admiring the Musica Statue there in the middle of the roundabout for quite a while I decided to step inside an Irish Pub and experience some of what the culture is like here on these famous streets. I found myself a seat near a corner of the bar. I don’t like my back exposed when in restaurants or bars. I’m not too sure why. I guess I just don’t like that there are people and things moving about and happening behind me where I cannot see. Not too long into me getting settled in, my attention was captured by a man at the other end of the bar. He had his hair pulled back in a pony tail and was dressed as if he was homeless or close to. I don’t mean this in any rude way whatsoever. Only trying to paint a picture.  By his body language and the tone of his voice it was overwhelmingly clear to me that he had already filled himself with more alcohol and cigarette smoke than food, rest or overall hygiene. Yet he still persisted on meeting everyone he could. 

It was his next conversation I overheard; however, that would leave me thinking for days now.

At about the time I began getting worried about the bartender’s safety, who had clearly figured out the “appropriate” amount of cleavage to show for a night filled with tips. It was almost as if she was getting more tips from the men sitting around the bar than she was giving drinks. It was at this point, nonetheless, that a very groomed typical country looking musician walked in and sat next to my boy Mr. Ponytail. He was thick but not fat. Stylish, but not inventive. Yet overall it was clear that successful could be an appropriate adjective to describe him.

Their conversation quickly went from friendly head nods and hellos to Mr. Ponytail spilling his desire to be a guitarist. He had traveled from Oklahoma and spent some time here in Nashville already, and even tho things hadn’t been going his way he wasn’t giving up hope. You could tell from Mr. Successful’s eyes he was pleased to see an eagerness in someone like Mr. Ponytail. So, Mr. Successful stepped in to give his advice.

“You must set goals” said Mr. Successful. “Hope is important, it is the beginning, the foundation and the part that must hang on the tightest and the toughest when all seems lost, but hope alone will not keep you on your feet going further.” 

Now for those of you who know me personally you know that even the word “hope” is in the highest of categories in my idea of humanity. Over the fall I was reading John Steinbeck’s reinterpretation of King Arthur, and in my readings of it and studying other versions I came across a quote I hold dear to my heart and hope to get permanently on me soon. 

“There is no worse death than the end of hope.”  - King Arthur

So keep in mind I am in no means challenging the significance and absolute need for hope. I do; however, find the words of Mr. Successful to Mr. Ponytail to be inspiring, wise and true whether either one of them realized it or not. 

I wish I could tell you that Mr. Ponytail sobered up at that moment and the two of them left to a studio where they wrote and recorded many hits inspiring new generations to do the same, but unfortunately at this time that’s not the truth. The truth is Mr. Ponytail fought the wisdom of Mr. Successful and said that he didn’t need to set goals like what Mr. Successful was saying. That he knew how good he was and that someday the sun would shine on him. Mr. Ponytail was stern in believing that universe either works for you or against you, and no matter what you can’t control its decision. 

I guess the reason I’m writing all of this is because as a simple bystander, I was moved by what Mr. Successful had to say. Sure I’ve had other friends and mentors tell me the same thing. But something happened within me that night when I saw someone reach down to help someone else and was rejected by the other person’s pride. 

In response to everything I experienced that night, from the streets to the statue, and from Mr. Successful to Mr. Ponytail. I learned that I appreciate the heart of success when success has a heart. I take Mr. Successful’s wisdom and hope to carry it on with me. 

Have HOPE. Dream big. Be brave. And to do all of these things: set goals, standards and be diligently disciplined.  Then you will watch your feet climb the latter of success.

// more than me…human trafficking…//

This past year for Christmas I informed my parent’s on Christmas day that my gift to them was something they couldn’t hold. It was actually a goat and 5 chickens to a family in Africa, and education and shelter for a girl being pulled out of human trafficking. I say all of this not to make myself look better than anyone out there, but to simply have an introduction. 

The older I get the more I see friends and classmates reach new levels of success. My generation is rising up to be the new professionals, and step into this realm even with the economy in the position that it is in. 

But as Homer once said (and later Peter Parker’s Uncle Ben) “with great power comes great responsibility” 

As we become older; and our incomes increase, what are we doing for the good of those who need our help?[

Are we making sure that our money is not just falling on us with things that will rot away, or are we investing into lives that need help? Investing into a new generation, and that of ours that has never been given the same opportunity. 

Last week I met with a producer here in Nashville, TN that has begun a mission to end Human Trafficking in Cambodia. I myself have come to the realization that trafficking is quite possible the most despicable thing on the planet, and have now come across a means to begin to chop away at this weed that has seem to take over in so many countries. 

So, I’m writing this tonight to say: GET INVOLVED!

Let us be the means to see this wretched thing come to an end, and see women, young women and girls set free from forced prostitution and abuse. We have the means to do whatever we put our minds to. So, why not put our minds to something positive for all, and see the world change.

If you know of a group where you can plug in and get involved then great. 

But if not please check out www.her100percent.com 

I promise you we can end this horrific business if we step up and decide to do it.

with love and hope - hope to see the world feel and know love

- Nathan 

// What would you leave behind…//

As you know I’ve been living in Nashville now for 2 weeks. This move has definitely been the most exciting and hopeful experience I’ve ever had. However, it has also been one of the most difficult and lonely times I’ve seen in a while. Don’t get me wrong I have some amazing friends here, but people can’t stop the flow of their lives just to make me feel at home. And I don’t expect them to!

I’m living with a family who, in my mind, has shifted from friends of mine to people I consider family. The place I now call home is under the same roof of: a man, his wife and their 4 kids stretching from high school to elementary school. It’s the kids that inspired this post…

Yesterday as we were all getting ready to enjoy one of America’s favorite events (The Super Bowl) a comment was made about who was doing the half time show. As I’m sure you saw/or knew it was Madonna. The crazy thing is, none of the kids knew who Madonna was. Sure the high school child had heard of her and had an idea, but no one really could recognize her or what she sang. —Mind blowing, I know!

However, it doesn’t end there. Later on as music began to play the 3rd child began to dance across the floor in front of the tv. As I watched him make his way backwards across our view of the tv screen while bending his knees and letting his ankles try to appear as if walking on air…you know the move, don’t you! 

The MOON WALK … A move only attempted by those who can really dance, drunk white men and apparently pre-pubescent boys. 

The thing that got me thinking tho is if these kids really had no idea who Madonna was, do they really have any idea who Michael was??

What would you leave behind? 

In all of his years spent doing music and one really sum up his career with a single dance move, as incredible as it is? And how is it that this was so distinctly left for him to pick up, yet his music is out of mind?

I guess in trying to look at this with a deeper mindset, I was left wondering just what it is that I will be leaving behind one day. 

I was watching an incredible movie today called Sweet Land  that had a quote at the beginning that said: Everyone hopes to be followed by a love story. 

Of course that’s a paraphrase seeing how I can’t remember exactly what was said, but the concept still exists. 

At the end of the day I hope that the life I live isn’t remembered by a song, or a story, or even a dance move (cause I have so many of them…), but rather by children of my own living out their lives the same way I am trying to live out mine. 

To be one of passion, of hunger for more and trying with all they have to be inspired, courageous and live life to the full. 

So, I leave you with that question one more time: What would you leave behind?

// Even ugly winters have layers…//

A few days ago a good friend of mine mentioned that I should start a blog focusing on fashion. More specifically my mindset and process in each outfit I decide to wear each day. Given that I now live in Nashville, and this friend’s job associates him with several A-class musicians…I took it as a compliment. 

Nonetheless, I recognize I am not ready to dedicate an entire blog for fashion, I’ve decided to just throw one in here and there. As you can see from this title, this is the first.

I think we could all agree that given the temperatures this winter and the lack of snow this winter could be classified as “THE BEST FRIEND”. 

You know what I mean. The not as cute and more or less annoying girl that you have to pretend to like and convince her to like you so that you can reach the girl you really want. 

The truth is, even with this winter’s weather we have to treat it the same we do that best friend. Meaning: respect what you can’t change, but don’t let it ruin your game. 

Alright, it might be a little cheesy, but hear me out. When it comes to wardrobe guys are no different than girls in one way. We both dress how we feel. When we feel confident, it shows. When we feel tired, it shows, and etc. So, don’t let a warmer winter keep you away from winter style! 

What I mean is, with the weather like it is we can’t be afraid to layer! In fact layering is what makes winter so enjoyable. scarves are added, jackets are added, hats are added. Let the same principal still stand. 

For example: 

I snapped this pic of me before going out this weekend. It’s a little blurry I know, but I am 5 layers deep on top with a pair of skinnies on bottom rolled up to reveal a pair of black dress shoes in a slight boot. 

The weather that night in Nashville…mid 50’s! But notice a few things. 

1. No layer is really all that more dominant than the other
2. Each one brings a different color and different texture, yet subtly 
3. By bringing in a buttoned vest on top of my shirt it brought in a little class

I’m not writing this saying I know everything, or that I’m at all more fashionable than any of you. I’m simply encouraging you to do what you’ve been wanting to and not let this ugly best friend winter ruin your chance this year to dress to impress that girl you’ve been wanting to for so long.

Good luck, and I hope to see you all out there looking you best!

- Nathan

// 2012: the year of completion…//

On New Year’s Eve I began writing a blog about my internal struggles of leaving 2011 with so many things undone. Nonetheless my entire being from my inner soul to my desert scorched skin was ready to begin a 2012. A new year. A new attempt. A new calendar to fill. A new adventure for my life to continue on it’s path and goal to be creative, inspire and be moved. As you can see from my posts the blog never got posted. For some unexplained reason the browser froze before I could “create post”. 

I’ve gone back to this same page 4 different times now, and all at different locations to try and finish this post. However, I couldn’t figure out just what should be said. 

I guess that’s my curse in writing these all together. How much to people actually read? Is this even for other people, or is this just for me? So, I shall now let this simply be what it turns out to be.

I just moved to Nashville, TN a week ago in hopes to peruse a career in music. However, this past year I have left behind…

• An unfinished album of 10 songs I wrote with some great friends
• An unfinished book I began writing last spring about a boy’s attempt to be inspired
• An unfinished box of Rosetta Stone teaching me Spanish
• A blog with only one post
• And about 10 unfinished songs I’ve been working on slowly

2012: the year of completion…let it begin!

I look forward to sharing more with you soon.

May you be bold, and re-examine things you’ve begun and have yet to accomplish and join me in my attempt to leave no stone unturned this year. 

Let us be bold and courageous